26th May, 2006.

Stanley won't be making his debut at Epsom Show on Sunday. he has a scab under his jaw - too much escape artistry yesterday in the run.

Well, that's one less to bath...

Poor little Zak (Stan's owner) is going to be very disappointed. Little does he know we are picking up a trio of Himalayans for Sarah at the show. He will think he is seeing in triplicate! On that point, remind me NEVER to give this URL to my darling and long suffering Chris.

17th May, 2006.

Exam Day.

Spent the morning pottering about with the pigs and dogs to keep occupied. Took dogs over the fields and they had a romp while the kids and I collected Dandelions. Came back and screwed together a new run for Stanley pig, then Chris came home to take the kids. Hour and a half to go - only a 30 minute drive, but I thought I would go early.

I knew it was a bad omen when I stopped for petrol in St Albans and realised I was still wearing my slippers. RAC routefinder thingy was darn useless - roadworks and it insisted a road was there that didn't exist so I gave up and asked someone. NOW I know why blokes won't ask for directions. They are aware of a plot to send people driving for miles on the wrong side of town. No doubt the plonker had a good laugh as he sent me on my way. I headed back that way hoping to be able to thump him on the way home, but he had vanished. I then got to Oakland College - just to find that I needed to be "at a different campus" to the address I had been sent (according to the chap at reception with three studs in his bottom lip and a vacant expression on his face). I admit to being girly then and bursting into tears. It had taken me TWO YEARS to get this poxy exam booked as I somehow got lost on the system and then spent months where no one seemed able to do so much as return a simple call. And now they send me the wrong address. Okay, Oaklands, you've had your fun and can say you got your own back on me for refusing to give up. Well, YOU WIN! I'll do without my blasted IT qualification. You can ram it where it hurts.

I'm going to drink Teddy's bottle of Merlot this evening.

15th May, 2006.

Hmmmmm.

Bea has this smug look on her face and either she is rather heavily pregnant or else she needs to go on a drastic diet! Trouble is, I'm new to these beasties and can't tell. She also gives me a firm nip when I pick her up, just to let me know who is Boss. It isn't me, obviously.

14th May, 2006.

Kent Cavy Show.
Mike and I set off, had a lovely day and Teddy won his class which was a lovely start to our cavy dabbling! We also won the lucky pen draw and got a lovely bottle of red wine which I am looking forward to pouring down my gullet one evening when we are barbecuing a couple of steaks.

While there, Mike fell in love with tort and whites (the ONE breed I had hoped he wouldn't want) and we were lucky enough to be able to purchase two very good looking sows from the sale pens for him. I sent Mike off to find the breeder and ask questions - he got VERY lucky as the smashing lady gave him a show quality boar she had entered the same day so he has a really nice start. Wondering slightly how much trouble I would be in for bringing home more pigs, I thought in for a penny in for a pound and bought two more. A boar and sow, no, we don't need another boar, but he is a dear little chap and Mike's friend Emily is looking for a patched pig. So he has a home lined up where he will be spoilt rotten. Lucky lad. Okay, let's be honest, we didn't need another sow either, but this young lady gave me the strangest look as I went past her pen. Mike has named her Beatrice, and the others Dennis, Ivy and Minnie (Continuing his theme of Beano names). I think Bea and I are going to be pals.

13th May, 2006

It rained.

After all that lovely sun from last week, today it rained. I'd left the washing out overnight of course and a book, a pair of white stillettoes (Essex girl me) and the digital camera. My luck's in today though because it dried out okay.

Kjersti sent me some new pictures of Poser today. I am really pleased and can't wait till I can get him over here. Looking forwards now to the Norwegian Winners Show in August when I can go over and handle him. Then bring him home a fortnight later...

11th May, 2006.

Oh my poor ears.

Zak and I bathed Teddy-pig today ready for the show on Sunday. No one told me Teddy-pig can scream. Anyone passing must have thought poor Teddy was being butchered in the sink. I got wetter than he did, Zak got shampoo in his eyes and baby Alf walked round the kitchen with his hands over his ears.

Then I cut his nails and stripped the guard hairs out of his coat (picture taken before I started). the volume increased but it didn't stop the little fiend from munching a slice of apple while he whinged.

I've tried to apologise to Teds with watercress but he is still sulking at bedtime. If he keeps this up I will rename him Gumboil...

2nd May, 2006.

Poor Alfie.

He was such a tired lad. He fell asleep on the sofa, bum in the air, snoring heartily and looking cherubic.

Zak wandered over, looked hard at his bottom and said "Wow". I told him to come away and carried on with the computer. Zak came back and told me "Alfie stinks!". I raced over - no, no pooping on the sofa, but I told Zak to stop sniffing his butt and came away again. Back to the computer.

Wails of fury from Alf. Zak wandering towards me sniffing his finger and repeating his assertion that "Alfie stinks".

I just dont want to even think about it.

1st May, 2006.

Okay so I haven't posted for weeks. I've been too busy picking dandelions. Mike walks the dogs and comes back with an armful of dandelions. Pat taps on the door with carrier bags full of dandelions. These creatures are bottomless pit mowing machines. They never stop. The Bible account was wrong, it wasn't a plague of locusts it was guinea pigs...

They are spoilt brats. They have their own salt lick. They munch overnight on the best quality hay and spring greens. they spend their days squeaking round a wire run (moved every couple of hours to maintain their access to shade). Our previously quiet life is now ruled by not only the four dogs, but the three pigs. They have to be put away if we go out to keep them safe from the local cats. They have to be brought out again as soon as we get home so they don't miss out on the sunshine and fresh air. Zak and Alf insist on having them all cuddled every morning and evening. And wherever we go we pick dandelions. I can spot the blasted things at a hundred paces now.

But

I am smitten. They *talk* to me in the mornings. No one usually talks to me in the morning. They even got named. Teddy, Joyce and Rachael (Just please don't ask).

They are like peanuts, I have the sneaking suspicion that three is not going to be nearly enough....